What Do You Get When You Cross A Lamb, A Duckling And A Nightmare?

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF YOURS TRULY!

Hello, Good Evening and Welcome,

You are tuned in to Nunnery Farm - the place where if it can happen, it certainly will happen - and once again I can report  to you that everything that could go wrong did, in fact, go wrong.

A Duckling In Disguise

What a heck of a day. I have just got in and can tell you that I do not know how I found this duckling but I did. In fact I am unbelievably worn out, have sunburn that is just a mass of water blisters on my shoulders, my eyes are swollen and look like they belong to a bloodshot frog, my nose is blocked and my face is covered in scratches because I have terribly bad hayfever, and nettle stings because I jump like an idiot, and it itches and I scratch it, simple as that. I am really allergic to grass and trees and it went out of my mind to take any of my tablets before I jumped over the fence to get searching for it. I jumped down over the fence in a fashion that only an imbecile would be proud of and straight into a 3ft  band of nettles, then tripped  up. So mad!

Grass Covering Broken Drain

Right - where do you start. The whole field is overgrown with not big but massive thistles with arms that are about 3 foot long and I have no idea what to do even when I get to this drain. I am massively scared of frogs BIG TIME. So armed with a tea-towel and Asda carrier bag - obviously, I mean what else do you need on a duck drain rescue (cant believe it now) I scanned the field. I knew the duckling had gone down the drain which is the overflow on the pond. This then went underground and straight down the field in front of me so I figured if I walk to the end I would see a pipe or something to go on. Off I set, when I got there the end of the field was a sheer drop down into a little stream below. I thought right then that it had gone  because if it had come out and was even visible it was too dangerous for me to try and climb down. I felt sick.

Duckling Following Its New Mum (Me!) While I Hoover

I headed back up the field so disappointed but I just couldn't leave. I couldn't. I decided that I would just give the field another search, corner to corner and see what turned up. So slowly I walked backwards and forwards over the whole of the field and after this proved unsuccessful decided I would walk the drain line again, the old clay pipes were hundreds of years old, there may be a break in a part of it - so I started walking and parting the grass in a straight line again, on  my hands and knees in parts - praying to the God of Frogs not to let one be where my hands were going.

Guess What?

Safe and Sound

I found hole in the field which on closer inspection had slow water running through it. I had found the drain.

Now all I could think about was that I had to put my hand in this black hole and I knew I would touch a frog. Not only am I having the day from hell but I am now a contestant on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. I bent down and was convinced I saw an eye - oh it was awful - I cannot describe the fear of putting my hand in that black pipe. I tried time and time again and even with Asda's help I could not start feeling around.  I started to do my best impersonation of a baby duckling and its an intermittent scratchy whistle. Nothing.

Then again, and again, and again. I figured if it was there I would hear it.

Then I did. I heard it - that made my heart pound and I waited and waited continuing to whistle and then it appeared - the Drainpipe Duckling with feathers all stubby and brown. Yeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss!

I scooped it up and brought it back home and as quickly as I could put it back with the other birds and its mum.

I made constant checks and then on my last check when I looked it had been attacked by some of the other ducks and now has a really nasty head injury. I guess it had been away too long. So, not to worry, it is the newest addition to move in and become a member of the hand reared brigade. One out, one in - only Dave hasn't really left. It is on my knee now as I type this and has followed me round the kitchen while I hoovered. Since most of my day has been spent dealing with animal rescue I thought it best to put in at least a quick hoover.

So there it is - mission drainpipe duck success

The duckling has quite a nasty head injury and it is far from out of the woods but you can rest assured that if it can be saved - I will save it.

Asleep on my knee typing Blog

Now where is the wine!!!